" Devil Take A Seat , Let Me Lecture You"

We feel pressurized by so many things in this life whether it's family, friends or ourselves. In January I.was.hard.on.myself because I wanted to ace my classes, I wanted to give my best; though I was so hard on myself mentally my body actually read that. These few months have been quite a journey and I have to thank God for getting me through and over my current and past situations. I took a journey I didn't think was possible, I had to finally tell myself  "No matter what this takes I gotta do it and I did it !"

I have been on a journey which will be instrumental to my life 
Even in years to come 

I've come to the end of it and

Need to find out how to achieve what I desire most right now.

Times will take you from ill health and back to homeostatic control

Largest allergy fight of your life left you with that adaptive immunity 

You'll never have the chance to attack me like that again

Does it help that people doubt me getting there 

Who told you I needed their two cents to fuel me into sadness

And at which point

Did I inform you of my concern with distractions

Many things will take you from a high to 'where did I lose full control' 

I had this all scheduled out, post-it noted

I even timed them

What happened and

At which point did I seem disorganized

Where did the urgency to achieve leave and take sidelines

In which way can I bring myself back because 

Those who love me will soon doubt that I tried at all 

I'll hurt myself thinking about this point for the rest of my life 

God you know my heart please help me out 

You made me, you placed me here 

It's your favor and grace that got me this place 

I admit my submission to the commissions of admissions 

From tasks that take me one step further 

I don't give my best as I wish

But it's still good enough 

How can I thank you enough

I was frustrated,

I didn't have a way out 

But you held my hand,

You protected my heart 

When I nearly broke it, you saved me 

I lost self so you saved me from myself 

Will I ever get to the next stop
I don't want those behind to leave me behind

I .. I .. I ENCOURAGED them to run 

Situations can't stay this way
This devil needs to take a seat and hear me out 
He needs to know I'm not his puppet to some freak show
You don't mess with me then think I won't get up 

My future is not determined by the outline 
Of my current situation 
My drive was tears but I wiped my eyes and 
Passion seeped out,

My pressed package burns
Good oil 
Give me time I will grow,

Five years does and doesn't seem too long 
You'll be hearing from my judge by the time I'm done
I'll school you in the tests of life
Let me lecture you on the ability to live within means
But provide beyond capacity
No temporary principles taught here 
Long term lessons given in fortitude 
To show how graciously it was understood that we 
Should never and will never stop here 

And by the way the judgement is already ruled in my favor, It's a win-win for me ! 

- Pebble$


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