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Tuesday, January 25, 2022

In Pieces - Let's Talk

 



image credit : unknown.



Hey World.

Let's talk for a moment. Well, I speak while you talk back at the screen after each line. I filmed a short review for this book a few years back, but some things didn't make the final cut.

So today. I grant you the privilege to - come inside, explore my thoughts and challenge them. Feel free to start a conversation in the comments or whatever platform you see this post shared on; I would love that.

It truly comes in pieces. With each page, she broke herself down like a sculpture made up of three layers - some concrete, some glass, and at the center a rose. As we move through the book - she hits harder and harder at the concrete until we see the glass. When fragile matters require more energy to cover up than they do to address, she applies pressure to the glass until it shatters. As the pieces fall to the ground, we can finally reach out and touch the rose.

As we take a brief moment to look at the ground, we see all the shattered pieces - a mess. We see unraveled truth spoken. We see fragments of this woman, pain, and damage. Sally Field is a damaged woman and, her experiences have brought harm to her in one way or another. She is not a perfect woman. None of us are perfect, but let's take the privileged position from here on out to explore some things.

1, There are generations of women who didn't take the time out to do the necessary therapy. I'm not talking about sitting opposite a psychologist or in a therapist's chair, but rather that deep travel within yourself. The type of travel where you are honest with yourself. You talk about what your experiences in life have been up to that moment. Then address what they have done to you. AND working through those varying conversations continually before you add any man or kids to your life.

Another point of damage arises through my notes - Sally allowed anybody go in the cookie jar then, smother their hands on that jar and leave fingerprints. She didn't allow herself fully process those moments and, she didn't deal with what she had been through up to that point. While these things remained, she added kids into her picture so, along came the responsibilities of motherhood. Alongside this comes the constant ponderings of a mother, concerns she has for her sister; and her decision to get into a committed relationship (insert concerned side glance).

Let me point out one part of the story which opened the door to Sally's trauma. As a woman, your children are good guides on whether that new person should come into your life. Her mother ignored this guide in Sally's reluctance and crying when Jacko came into their home. Her mother ignored that red flag when she followed through with marrying Jacko. There will be points where mothers will read this book and wrinkle their noses while mentally saying 'daughter how?' 'how did you manage to let your dignity get played with like that?' 'don't do this!'

2, Red alarms are a woman's intuition, a warning against failure, a call to listen before the earth quakes. 

Sally's dignity was played with, trampled on, and many times the red alarms rang. And this is the point where several hands went into the cookie jar, got as many cookies as they liked, as frequently as they liked and, all they left were fingerprints. This phase of ignored red alarms taught me a few things. Firstly, you don't have to go through trauma; it can be down to the things you have internalized as a teenager or experiences you had in life. And when you are at a crossroad where you're unsure how to navigate, we see reactions like the constant struggle between Sally and her mother. Translated to life on the privileged side of this screen - it can be the battle between yourself and confidence in your decisions. It can be the back and forth thinking of whether to rise again after something repeats itself in a different situation later in life.

This plays out between Sally and her mother because Sally is in the thick of it, dealing with life's situations while her trauma lays beneath it all. You can't hold all of that and operate at your best. So, Sally's reactions towards her mother become disproportionate to the wrongs her mother has done in the past. Therapy can't occur in environments like these, where life's weights pull you like strings from several directions as you try to hold yourself together. When you internalize your battles as you work through your trauma or the issues of life make working through trauma a low priority, it's hard to invite other people in. What seat, what room, what space will you be able to provide? The answer is none.

3, There's always a portal, an open door. But who will find that door and close it before it hides its destruction in the fabric of our lives?
 
Sally's mother is a portal to the generations that have brought baggage and traps along for the ride. And what one generation doesn't deal with, the generations that follow inherit and struggle through. In the worst scenario, the next generation doesn't learn from it, but the hope is they will learn, overcome and break cycles of trauma.

In Pieces is a lesson for all readers, with one of many messages that read 'Place yourself in a position of privilege. Learn from Sally's story and let it help you navigate. Navigate several different relationships, several different issues that men & women face and, the World itself. Work through your problems; you deserve the other side of solutions or healing.'

As you grasp this message, if there is any therapy you've got to do, be your therapist first and talk out those problems. When you identify your problems, triggers, and things you can't quite put into words, the next step is, finding somebody you can talk to. A friend, a therapist, a coach, family. Who is your trusted person, your trusted people? Engage with those people.

I liked my journey through this book. I gained some understanding that has been useful and remains applicable. I felt uncomfortable for Sally as she described situations and told her story. BUT her mistakes, decisions, and lessons gave me some tools. I asked myself how I could be more understanding towards people who find themselves in similar situations. How can I be a light to comfort them through the blind moves, crossroads, and those breakdowns that lead them right back to the fetal position? How can I encourage people to give themselves time and space to get things right before repairing relationships? 

___________________________________________________

Some closing thoughts and random lines that were too much fragment to make complete sentences are below. These random thoughts helped shape some poems which explored the struggle between Sally and her mother. It goes far beyond Sally and her mother to mothers and daughters across the globe. 

"mothers and daughters are set up to have these clashes. I don't know if it's a silent war."






Thank you so much for your time in reading this post to the end. Once again, explore my thoughts and challenge them. Feel free to start a conversation in the comments or whatever platform you see this post shared on; I would love that.




   Copyright © 2022 PebblesWroteIt

Tuesday, January 11, 2022

Don't Rush Through 2022 | Pebble$



 

Happy New Year World!

Welcome In.

Don't rush through the chapters, don't skip pages, don't give up, don't get impatient with yourself.

Each time the bricks come tumbling - regroup, refocus, strategize & rise again.



Copyright © 2022 PebblesWroteIt

Tuesday, December 21, 2021

2021 Reads : Pebble$




1.  I  Know Why The Caged Bird Sings  :  Maya Angelou

2.  My Hair  :  Hannah Lee

3.  Bury Your Dead  :  Louise Penny

4.  The Tyranny Of Structurelessness  :  Jo Freeman

5.  Eleven Minutes  :  Paulo Coelho

6.  Zhuan Falun  :  Li Hongzhi

7.  Poison - Taming The Tongue  :  Dag Heward-Mills

8.  A Painted House  :  John Grisham

9.  The Pathway To Distinction  :  Matthew Ashimolowo

10.  No Mirrors In My Nana's House  :  Ysaye Maria Barnwell  (read by Tia & Tamera Mowry)

11.  The Space Within - Finding Your Way Back Home  :  Michael Neill

12.  Esther Was A Diva  :  Tony Evans

13.  Natives - Race & Class In The Ruins Of Empire  :  Akala

14.  Black Maternal Mortality - Our Fight Back  :  Dr. Andrea Alexander

15.  If Ever We Were...  :  Hattress Barbour III

16.  Invisible Women - Exposing Data Bias In A World Designed For Men  :  Caroline Criado-Perez

17.  Freshwater  :  Akwaeke Emezi

18.  Oh, The Places You'll Go  :  Dr. Seuss  (read by Michelle Obama)

19.  Can I Be Your Dog?  :  Troy Cummings  (read by Michelle Obama)

20.  The Biology Of Belief - Unleashing The Power Of Consciousness, Matter & Miracles  :  Bruce H Lipton

21.  Criminals, Idiots, Women and Minors  :  Frances Power Cobbe

22.  The Tiger Who Came To Tea  :  Judith Kerr  (read by Mo Gilligan)

23.  Black Masculinity and the Cinema Of Policing  :  Jared Sexton

24.  Black Feminist Politics from Kennedy to Trump  :  Duchess Harris

25.  Sebastian's Roller Skates  :  Joan de DÊu Prats  (read by Caitlin Wachs)

26.  Walden  :  Henry David Thoreau

27.  I Love My Hair!  :  Natasha Anastasia Tarpley  (read by Tiffany Haddish)

28.  Girl, Stop Apologizing - A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals  :  Rachel Hollis

29.  Microaggressions and Modern Racism - Endurance and Evolution  :  Charisse C. Levchak

30.  The Untethered Soul  :  Michael A. Singer

31.  Mixed Blessings From A Cambridge Union  :  Elizabeth N. Anionwu

32.  Crown - An Ode to the Fresh Cut  :  Derrick Barnes  (read by Caleb McLaughlin)

33.  The Glass Bead Game  :  Hermann Hesse

34.  The Birth Of Tragedy  :  Friedrich Nietzsche

35.  My Daddy Said - I  Can Be Anything  :  Fanita Moon Pendleton  (read by Tabitha Brown)

36.  Sulwe  :  Lupita Nyong'o  (read by Lupita Nyong'o)

37.  The Little Book Of Clarity  :  Jamie Smart

38.  Something In The Water  :  Catherine Steadman





Copyright © 2021 PebblesWroteIt

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

Exploring 'Walden' | Pebble$ Reads



 

I took note as I read this book. I was annoyed at first with how long it took me to process each page. I wanted to read faster, read the words and move on but, my mind needed this moment. It didn't want to process the words like fast food. It needed to sit with pages/chapters/sections and show respect for a carefully cooked meal, fine dining, navigate each item on the plate.

I want to take you through my thoughts for words and sections that wouldn't let me slide past when I read them.


Let's begin.

"The soil, it appears, is suited to the seed, for it has sent its radicle downward, and it may now send its shoot upward also with confidence."

Nature can teach us some much. So much about ourselves, how we should treat each other, and sometimes how to switch up the way we approach life and situations. Like plants, we should plant ourselves in good ground, find good soil, positions ourselves in a place where the sun may reach us. BUT don't forget that roots develop so the plant can produce fruit. Care for your roots. Give them what they need, whatever you do, ensure you don't stop there when tending to yourself - be positioned someplace, any place that sees you bearing fruit. Seek growth factors (soil, a good environment), remember you are a seed (full of potential). Send your radicle downwards (your roots, prepared to learn the fundamentals, be a beginner). Send your shoot upwards (use what you learn to grow, use what you find to build, value people who can act as sunlight and nutrient for your growth), and do this with confidence. Confidence is knowing that you are not where you used to be, it is looking back to see how far you have come, how much you have grown.


"I had three pieces of limestone on my desk, but I was terrified to find that they required to be dusted daily, when the furniture of my mind was all undusted still, and threw them out the window in disgust."

After these words, he continues the conversation with self asking, 'how could he consider getting himself a furnished home which would gather further dust, he would rather live out in the open amongst nature which gathers no dust.' The words and the afterthought come together as a reminder for us as humans. We give attention and time to making 'valued' things look great and polished but, we don't give this much attention to the vessel that carries us from day to day. That great vessel is our body, its systems, its compartments, and our mind. The reminder here is to renew your mind, stretch it, teach it, challenge it often or allow it to be challenged by others often. So, that we don't die while those external 'assets' remain without our existence.

I'm going to extrapolate a little here that means I'm going to stretch these words a little beyond their context, but I promise I'll center my thoughts right back into context once I reach my tangent. Let's take these three limestones as mind, body, and soul. All of these are key to your existence, they all react when something is out of balance - the extreme of that imbalance, for example, is dust. Minimal exercise, the wrong foods, minimal sleep, and stress are the body's dust. When these things persist, the body reacts in several ways where pathologies may develop. Limiting environments, limiting people, what you see, what you hear, what you say, and the things that pass the filters of your mind are the dust that settles in your soul. Negative self-talk, bad advice that lingers, overthinking, lack of focus, and not practicing gratitude all act as dust to the mind.

I think these words and afterthoughts are pleading with us to pay attention to ourselves and what we consume and permit in all forms - whether the recipient is our body, our mind, the soul, or our homes. The author pleads with us to water ourselves as we water our plants. To declutter our minds as we take out household trash. To renew our knowledge as we change our sheets & make conscious efforts to improve ourselves as we dust those 'valuable' things.

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"Renew thyself completely each day; do it again, and again, and forever again."

Another call to pay attention to ourselves and feed ourselves with what we need. We need renewal every day. If we didn't need renewal, we would not shed skin cells - the dead lifts and shifts so the new can come to the surface and provide protection. One of the best forms of protection we have against death is to ensure that we don't die before we actually D-I-E. To die, is to assume to have and know all that you will need to know for all your trips around the sun, at any given time. We are always learning. We are learning stillness, learning how to practice gratitude, learning how to live to produce the best we have to give, and learning how to best receive all that others will give to us on this journey. Change is inevitable, participate in the change, be changed, or be the late majority.

Renewal comes with the morning. To stress the importance of this, here are some more of his words "That man who does not believe that each day contains an earlier, more sacred, and auroral hour than he has yet profaned, has despaired of life, and is pursuing a descending and darkening way."


"Books, the oldest and the best, stand naturally and rightfully on the shelves of every cottage. They have no cause of their own to plead, but while they enlighten and sustain the reader his common sense will not refuse them."

There is so much for us to gain from books, from reading. There is so much to challenge our thoughts, feed us and excite us between the pages of a book. There are many genres to choose from - books don't come in a one story fits all situation. We got softbacks, hardbacks, graphics, comics, 11pt font, 16pt font, we got lines that spiral around pages, straight lines of words gathered to take you to another place. The destinations and experiences in a book are endless. Reading nurtures your imagination.


"As the nobleman of cultivated taste surrounds himself with whatever conduces to his culture--genius--learning--wit--books--paintings--statuary--music--philosophical instruments, and the like; so let the village do--not stop short of at a pedagogue, a parson, a sexton, a parish library.."

I guess in simple words, don't die illiterate. Even the college-educated can be illiterate, this occurs when you don't feed your mind with the things outside your field to widen your neural networks, excite your neural connections and open yourself to conversation with a man who can teach you a thing or two about those things you don't fully understand. Read, and read and read until you can read no longer (in death is where that should end). Let us dine with minds both young and old, learn from the lives of those who have written our overcoming, improvement and created paths to growth.

Have breakfast with the Bible in your hands, eat lunch with the works of your favorite philosopher or choose a philosopher and study him. Snack on the words of foreign literature. Have dinner with dictionaries, concordances, encyclopedias, reference books to complete your day's learning.


"Instead of noblemen, let us have noble villages of men."

Like the nobleman who chooses what feeds his (culture, genius, learning, wit) such as books, paintings, statuary instruments, musical instruments, philosophical instruments. We should also start where we are and feed ourselves. Feed what we consider to be our culture, genius, learning, and wit. Enrich yourself with life's resources, walk into life's library and freely loan its material to understand it better.

Instead of aspiring to be men with rich tastes which can be satisfied, how about we bring those rich tastes to our communities and increase their value. Increase their intellect, their education, and encourage their growth. Read like you must finish your TBR list before your last exhale. Consume art like the artists are going on sabbatical and leaving us with nothing new. Let us start where we are with the little or much that we have and feed ourselves. Let us desire to grow in intellect and character.

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"The farmer can work alone in the field or the woods all day, hoeing or chopping, and not feel lonesome, because he is employed; but when he comes home at night he cannot sit down in a room alone, at the mercy of his thoughts, but must be where he can 'see the folks,' and recreate, and, as he thinks, remunerate himself for his day's solitude; and hence he wonders how the student can sit alone in the house all night and most of the day without ennui and 'the blues'; but he does not realize that the student, though in the house, is still at work in his field, and chopping in his woods, as the farmer in his, and in turn seeks the same recreation and society that the latter does, though it may be a more condensed form of it."

Many people question those who can thrive in solitude how they do it. Maybe this is due to their view or a mental image creating an environment of punishment, a place where they feel alone, lonely, shut off from the world. The opposite is true. Solitude is a place enjoyed most when you have found a way to sit with your thoughts without them having to babysit you as you scream for somebody to rescue you.

One example of solitude's beauty is in these lines,"..partly with a view to the next day's dinner, spent the hours of midnight fishing from a boat by moonlight, serenaded by owls and foxes, and hearing, from time to time, the creaking note of some unknown bird close at hand."


"I believe that water is the only drink for a wise man; wine is not so noble a liquor; and think of dashing the hopes of the morning with a cup of warm coffee, or of an evening with a dish of tea! Ah, how low I fall when I am tempted by them."

To be honest, I'm not policing anybody's preferred form of hydration. I'm just here to remind you to drink your water and mind your business. A wise man knows this is one of the secrets to youth. Keep life simple, so the complications tangle themselves.


"..but nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? His business calls him out at all hours, even when doctors sleep."

Yes, there is a bias of views coming and I'm not going to hide it either. I am a poet, so it's only natural that I swim in these words - I'm going to act like he's referring to me. I constantly read about the moments that poets experience when writing a piece or the overcoming required to let a piece live and be seen. The moments of deciding to push past the judgments we have towards ourselves, the inability to reach the standard we have set for ourselves. So if you ask, if we ever lose sleep, if we ever work after hours. Yes, poets deserve all the applause for motivating themselves when it is the hardest to write and enjoy moments. They deserve it when figuring out where the words want to go, where they need to go.

_______________________________________________________


"No wonder the earth expresses itself outwardly in leaves, it so labors with the idea inwardly."

Express. Yourself. You are a creative being, don't silence those things you were created to share the music to.

Everything from the cochlea of your inner ear loops on itself hoping you will make some noise today. Speak notes 🎜 🎝 🎜 into existence, compose a little song, your heart promises to beat in rhythm while your diaphragm promises to raise each note on your exhales. Your fingers relaxed and extended, waiting for you to give them something to hold, something to mold. Your body is excited, expectant that its function and systems will sustain your beautiful work today. Blood vessels connect like branched networks to ensure all deliveries are on time today, your brain in need of the supplies it brings will sit on conference calls to ensure all lobes and neurons know there is creating to be done & creativity to be expressed.

My prayer for you also is that we (the world, your community, your friends, those you care about) all see the fruits of your labor on those things you have been troubled by and overcome. Those late nights, those drafts, those prototypes. I pray you see the things that have failed, and not see yourself as a failure.


"We are all sculptors and painters, and our material is our own flesh and blood and bones. Any nobleness begins at once to refine a man's features, any meanness or sensuality to imbrute them." 

It begins with us. How we translate the body we are given. How we walk through each day. What is the value of a day? What value do eyes hold? You will project onto me the things that have pondered your mind the most if you don't sit with your mind to talk and decide how to handle those things efficiently. Efficiently is by your definition, not what I assume about you or what I want you to think. In a few words, I'm asking you to put some respect on your name. Walk through this life, hungry to translate it beyond the distortions you have created, experienced, or been victim to.

This life is a marathon, be patient with yourself on each street, sidewalk, path, in each circumstance, city, plane, car, and building.


"Every man is the lord of a realm beside which the earthly empire of the Czar is but a petty state, a hummock left by the ice."

Think about the vastness of our universe from time to time, so you don't cage yourself or cage your thought. Before empires are built by hands, they must be built in minds where everything is tested. Test the strength of what you are building and test the truth of what you tell yourself. Test the voice to finally reach the reality of what YOU want, discarding the things you have been influenced to want. All the physical empires you see may have followed a certain mold, where nothing went outside of the box, created by men limited in their own time by different circumstances or rules. Break the box, use the box for guidance or create a new box where necessary.



I hope that as you sat and read this blog post, you felt the privilege of sitting with leaves from a great tree created from sections, chapters, and pages. I also hope you found enough food to sustain you for the next steps after this, that you ate well, and found your plate an exciting thing to navigate with all its items.



Copyright © 2021 PebblesWroteIt

Tuesday, July 20, 2021

If Ever We Were... : Book Review




I am so proud of Hattress it is great to see his work in print showing up in feeds and people's stories, and now my library. I have flipped through these pages, paused and reflected but, more consistently, I took a few breaks from the book to process pieces I had read (more on that in the review).

As promised, If Ever We Were... by Hattress Barbour III  found its way into my 2021 Reading list. If you watched Pebble$ Got Mail, you know how happy I was to receive this book. It was a great reading experience, and you can hear my thoughts in my new video linked below or by clicking on the image above.

Please support Hattress by purchasing a copy following the Book Review. Links will be in the description box and a link to his Instagram to check out more of his work.



If Ever We Were... by Hattress Barbour III | Book Review




Copyright © 2021 PebblesWroteIt

Wednesday, May 19, 2021

My Secret Place: A Few Words..



Image source  :  talkspace.com 


A few words...

Based on the book, The Space Within: Finding Your Way Back Home  that I read recently.


Hey There. 

I think everything points right back to God. In pursuit, in your walk, your healing, your improvement of self, and understanding yourself better. It all points right back to giving God his rightful space in your life, which is at the center of everything. He is who I refer to in my caption as 'my secret place', the place I go to renew myself. I must remind myself to recenter, and go right back to him because he has the answer to everything.

The waiting period for the answer is not always the easiest space for you to be in. A place where you don't know everything, you don't have the final picture, you don't know where the end is at or how you'll get to the destination (that you think you want to be headed to). It all lies within being patient enough.

I might annoy other folks and myself sometimes when I say, "I will only tell you what I know". There are times when what I know is limited BUT I believe, that what I say to you will help you in the meantime until you reach the next part of whatever the answer is to the - current season, state of mind, or position that you are in. This ensures that you have some basic tools, should you ever pass through something similar again. There is a necessary becoming that follows this. Become more comfortable with being patient with yourself and being at peace with yourself as you keep on moving. Realizing, that if anything is going to change internally or externally it's up to you. There are limits to how much you can blame on others, and there is a magnitude of things that you can take responsibility for.

It's hard to navigate the path when you don't take responsibility for what you want to change, what you want to see, and where you want to get to. A fraction of that requires that you do the work while you wait for the answer or answers. It also requires that you navigate the path and give yourself those quiet times where necessary.

Don't try to be productive when you know you ought to sit down in a seat and read to feed yourself or write, or whatever it is that you need to be doing, in the meantime while you wait for those answers. That is not the time to talk down on yourself. That is not the time to dig yourself into a space of darkness, deeper than you already are.


And to conclude...

We defined everything the time isn't for but what it IS for, is time spent tapping into our secret place. The secret place is the home within that awaits your arrival back wherever and whenever you need it. Don't neglect home, don't fill the space with past preoccupations & future anxieties. Be present for what you need NOW - in every moment, in every day.



Talking about books, have you seen Pebble$ Got Mail (on YouTube)



You may also enjoy -  A Personal Essay: A Bar Set High


Copyright © 2021 PebblesWroteIt

Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Pebble$ Got Mail : Books & More Books.





I got packages. I got updates. And moments of laughter.

It's been a while since I took you through my books, current reads and talked about them. I purchased a few books last winter and a few more in the new year. There's a new release on my list I received from a Poet friend of mine, so I look forward to reading that.

Libraries being closed for over a year and, the small gaps between when they had limited services means that I am forced to look at the books I have and start reading them. Some of my purchases surprised me. I have received at least three books this year that I forgot were on my wishlist, so I guess you can say that I've had a great first quarter.


New Books:

Kiley Reid

Bernardine Evaristo

Rita Dove

Zoya Phan

Tami Hoag


Surprise package:

If Ever We Were...  by Hattress Barbour III  (@iam_hattress)

  - This book will be on my 2021 Reading List too.


Updates:

Hey she's back!

I want to hear from you. Is there any new content you would like to see from Pebble$? Anything that you have missed seeing?  Comment below or 'Like, Subscribe & Comment' on my Channel.


Last But Not Least :

In case you need some more bookworm, booknerd, book lover, book-'insert another suffix they give us here'   inspiration to make that TBR list even longer I'll link my previous reading lists below.

2021 Reads thus far are shared on  Instagram

2020 Reads

2019 Reads

2018 Reads

2017 Reads

2016 Reads




Copyright © 2021 PebblesWroteIt