#2015InReview

As I sit down to reflect on the year and my journey so far, I come to a point of great appreciation for the opportunities given. This feels like my best blogging year so far, this year I felt like I gave more than the Poet and Writer within.  I used my experiences and I had an inner confidence. Thank you world for allowing me to use this platform as a stage to showcase to you the lady I am becoming and the woman I aspire to be !  

-  Pebble$ 

1. New Beginnings

2. Devil Take A Seat, Let Me Lecture

3. The Changes

4. Fixed On You

  ___________________________________

My top 4 posts of 2015 are a mixture of poetry and motivating posts that gave me a chance to give what I have in the hope of encouraging and speaking to my world (that is YOU) who read my posts through one means or another. 2015 took me from "I know what I'm doing, I got this" to "somebody help a sista out" and right back !

Little did I know that I was going to learn so much about myself in a way I wasn't even ready for. 'New Beginnings' you have to put yourself in check every time you get the chance and that doesn't even have to be due to any wrongs against self, you just have to keep it 100 with yourself and where you are going. There is one piece from this post that reflected itself in the first quarter of the year, "You just need to wake up and be a servant of all, let them know 'you wanna take a dump on my feelings and kindness' GO AHEAD !!". This happened on several occasions but I decided I wouldn't stop in my goodwill, your choices are none of my business.

'Devil Take A Seat, Let Me Lecture' who doesn't know how it feels to have a nose you can't breathe through and a head that hurts, then combine this with a desire to succeed where health contradicts strength. This was a post of realizing the reality of giving up on self at the last moments when all the points were just about to click together. This is my only regret of 2015 and I promise you I won't be selling myself short in life ever again.

Every stage of life requires that you learn something new and with that comes development that will always equip you for something or someone. 'The Changes' takes you through a process of building self so that you can help to build the world around you, through this you can move onto the image. The image of the man/woman that will come from the growth of your trips, your stumbles, your boo boos, tears, laughter, the rises and falls. 

Now the side of poet, 'Fixed On You' first of all I didn't even know what to call this post then I decided to paste it into a draft that I had already created .. so a visual and a caption later and a post was born, ready to be shared with the world. This is the last but not least of my TOP 4 Blog posts of 2015 !

These are my top 4, are there any of others that should have made the list? I look forward to bringing another year of amazing 
posts to you and more discovery ! 

Happy Holidays Ahead, Enjoy Yourselves And See You In 2016 !!!

Pebble$ x

  Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt

Inked

I know this post is going up a little late but I was wondering if sharing this piece matched with the Hello December above .. well I have

decided to put them up together. Just telling stories from a story-filled mind, my flow will not always make sense but I do hope you get

the message within it. 

The Story Begins:

I don't know the real struggle of that brotha

I'm not ready for a strip and search of my emotions

Conceited as I am I don't look to conceal

I won't really ever know how it feels to have your pure canvas painted black

To know the feelings of yesterday shut down in a shotgun

To have the feels of yesterday dead and gone

I will always be gone to the connection of touching and living it

Idle, wild minds create minds for plains of fury
We set our clocks back by a half hour
Just to blame them for closing early on the happy hour
I will continually take trips and turns playing hop scotch
Instead of fully understanding the embodiment of who you are
I don't know why you live here
But you must be strong to stay there
Stay over there where the breeze is clean

Freedom is not too far away gone

From the lungs of those constrained by a stain

Your confidence is showing

A journey upheld even through strong winds

I must commend you

But in order to commend I have to comprehend you

That isn't easy and I'm learning

Learning to sip on a juice not always suited to the taste of buds

I am not accustomed to the treasures you hold
I can't find you in my book
You didn't allow me to write your story
I don't know the real struggle of that brotha
I'm not ready to take the pain of being a son after his mother's heart
I will never know what that takes
Summon what is not there to hold together pieces almost shattering
Why is doing anything for a mother so.. so important
Where do tears go when your insides are hurting

Why are your lungs bruised and your heart still beating

I hear it kills you to see it every day

How this situation is slowing dying

Where is your resurrection when we thought life wiped you out

               Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt

Fixed On You ..

Who will you blame for my impertinence to conform

Who will you hold for my ignant mind as you call it

And who taught you to judge my book without its cover

Who will you question for my ingratitude

I am here solely confined
And you show no reason to care
You find your solace in that stupid newspaper you read every morning
Your soul is absent, I can hear your sorrow bellowing
Your tears fight with your eyes and your scorn grazes your skin
Who will you use to educate yourself
I refuse to let my mistakes be your teacher
I don't know you but you somehow know me??
Is that so

Your wind is stale and your gusts are not appeasing

Why do you read parables in my simple words

Why is my attitude your riddle

Don't try to figure it out

Your taxes still don't add up

You want to calculate me

And you have no answers for yourself

Why are you a nuisance staying around my grounds

Lower you guard ..

I mean your gun

I am not your threat and neither is my mind
For your information I do speak English
My written is that most bitten
My words nourish the soul
My dreams should be your food for thought
Step back my actions are not my advance
Your lack of knowledge annoys me
Sit down and translate
Keep you eyes open and stay awake

    Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt

" Devil Take A Seat , Let Me Lecture You"

We feel pressurized by so many things in this life whether it's family, friends or ourselves. In January I.was.hard.on.myself because I wanted to ace my classes, I wanted to give my best; though I was so hard on myself mentally my body actually read that. These few months have been quite a journey and I have to thank God for getting me through and over my current and past situations. I took a journey I didn't think was possible, I had to finally tell myself  "No matter what this takes I gotta do it and I did it !"

I have been on a journey which will be instrumental to my life 
Even in years to come 

I've come to the end of it and

Need to find out how to achieve what I desire most right now.

Times will take you from ill health and back to homeostatic control

Largest allergy fight of your life left you with that adaptive immunity 

You'll never have the chance to attack me like that again

Does it help that people doubt me getting there 

Who told you I needed their two cents to fuel me into sadness

And at which point

Did I inform you of my concern with distractions

Many things will take you from a high to 'where did I lose full control' 

I had this all scheduled out, post-it noted

I even timed them

What happened and

At which point did I seem disorganized

Where did the urgency to achieve leave and take sidelines

In which way can I bring myself back because 

Those who love me will soon doubt that I tried at all 

I'll hurt myself thinking about this point for the rest of my life 

God you know my heart please help me out 

You made me, you placed me here 

It's your favor and grace that got me this place 

I admit my submission to the commissions of admissions 

From tasks that take me one step further 

I don't give my best as I wish

But it's still good enough 

How can I thank you enough

I was frustrated,

I didn't have a way out 

But you held my hand,

You protected my heart 

When I nearly broke it, you saved me 

I lost self so you saved me from myself 

Will I ever get to the next stop
I don't want those behind to leave me behind

I .. I .. I ENCOURAGED them to run 

Situations can't stay this way
This devil needs to take a seat and hear me out 
He needs to know I'm not his puppet to some freak show
You don't mess with me then think I won't get up 

My future is not determined by the outline 
Of my current situation 
My drive was tears but I wiped my eyes and 
Passion seeped out,

My pressed package burns
Good oil 
Give me time I will grow,

Five years does and doesn't seem too long 
You'll be hearing from my judge by the time I'm done
I'll school you in the tests of life
Let me lecture you on the ability to live within means
But provide beyond capacity
No temporary principles taught here 
Long term lessons given in fortitude 
To show how graciously it was understood that we 
Should never and will never stop here 

And by the way the judgement is already ruled in my favor, It's a win-win for me ! 

- Pebble$


         Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt

Cloudy .

Do actions become apparent .. before or after the deed is done ? - Pebble$



         Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt

Ms Allen .. I Got You x

This post goes out to my high school mom, she advised and encouraged me on how to be a woman when all I knew best to do was 
be a girl. She has been a great mentor in my life, supported me, encouraged me and she has brought so much laughter.

She is not feeling too good and I want you to keep her in your prayers. This woman is so dear to my heart she has taken me like 

a daughter under her beautiful wings of experience and maturity. I feel even more driven at times when I remember 

people such as her and it drives me to keep on keeping on. 

Lord keep this woman who is so dear to me

Give her strength and guide her through 

Bring her joy, bring her healing 

When she doesn't feel like it, let her know she is capable 

Keep her close to your heart and never let her out of your sight 

Make her burdens light and her journey strong

Allow her to leave a legacy 

Now is not the time for her yet but 

Give her the chance to give what she has left

And come back to you empty

*empty = when you have fulfilled your purpose and you are not going to your grave with unfulfilled dreams.

For all of you who see this, please reach out to a friend, mother, father, cousin, colleagues etc. etc. who you have not been in touch 

with recently. You don't know how much it may mean to that person, even if your last conversation ended with an argument 

or a "I will never speak to you again as long as I live".

Do it! If someone has been on your mind there is a reason for that, even if you call and they seem fine .. It wasn't a waste of time !! 

I love y'all and I love you Ms Allen, you mean so much to me.

Pebble$ x x 

#Destiny

Motivate yourselves .. Be motivated !

- Pebble$ x 

                                                                                  Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt

The Changes ..

Life is an interesting ride, a journey, a set of stairs taken to your final destination BUT no where in the contract of life did it say things would be easy or the ride smooth, rather it stated that we find ourselves, learn, enrich our existence and in finding ourselves discover each other. If you need to find yourself that means you must be ready to educate yourself on value, principles, positivity and building. If you do not grasp the fundamentals of building yourself you will never be able to help another to build and consequently will be left hindered in your ability to help in building the world around you. 

I find fulfilment in knowing that I have someone to talk to, people to talk to and laugh with. There is no space for a void when you occupy your time and worth with building, within building sometimes your hands won't be at work it will be your mind learning and being educated! Progression will follow when you find that you are constantly seeking to improve the vessel known as YOU, mastering that means you'll have no trouble with sharing what you have gained with others. You go through your own things in life to be a mentor to those who will go through something similar in life. 

Taking in the experience of the journey is so important, even more than getting to the finish line. When you focus on the image of the complete you (the you, you want to see, the man/woman you wish you were, the place you wish you were at in life, wishing you had achieved that dream or goal by now etc. etc.) you forget to enjoy the trips, the stumbles, the boos boos, the tears, the laughter, the rises and the falls. Missing out these "minor" events are very dangerous in your walk as a human, as an individual in this thing we call the 'human race'. Blotting your mind out to the failures/negatives leaves huge gaps in your history which means that for those periods of time you have nothing to prove your existence so you were just in gaseous exchange & excretion mode and not existing. 

I won't come at you with all this without admitting that I take time to reflect sometimes and realize I've spent too much of my life blotting out 'minor details' and horrible experiences. My saving grace at intervals is being reminded that I was a pretty cool kid despite my unhappiness. Yes, I have been bullied for most of my life and hated on, I still get hated on but we as individuals can't be stuck at that bus stop you have to keep it moving define your destination and let it be anywhere that does not enable you to somehow come back here. Move on! 

As life progresses, you may bring yourself to the confidence of moving on and you'll make a lifestyle out of building and contributing to the growth of YOU; and you will count all experiences good or bad in your journey to those goals and dreams. Good! Now you have found yourself but why are you experiencing the same problems, or so you think but you are not. Over the course of this life you experience new levels and new kinds of problems, the issues that you face change as they realize your graduation throughout life. Many times we think we are alone in facing these problems until we realize we can involve others to help us through. And yes we are the only one until we realize how many other people are going through or have gone through those same experiences.

We don't realize and can't seem to see how much easier our struggle(s) could be, if only we decided to seek the counsel of those who have already been through those tests, trials, tribulations, pains, etc. name them 
my ragazze, my ragazzi!

As you face your challenges daily, do me one favor and count your blessings one by one .. seeing, eating without aid, breathing, walking by yourself, the ability to run, to talk, to hear. You don't take these things into account because you are putting those who can't down, but to show that you are appreciative of those things which you possess and most often take for granted !


Love You All ..

Pebble$


       Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt

Doing What You Doing ..

Hey World.

It's been a minute since I have engaged with you and given you any updates. I can't believe it has been three years (passed that milestone on June 8th, 2015) that I've been blogging. It has been real nice doing it, it's been a journey of its own. I'm really grateful to my family, my friends, people who just got to know me through the camera or through my blog first because some people followed me on Google+ before I realized every post I was making, I was sharing with only myself. I don't know how that setting got there but a year later is when I made this discovery, maybe that's the reason why many people could not find me in the first year. 

If you follow me on Google+ you will notice that most of my posts have been music, only because I'm slowly easing back into it - with all my social media. Music is one thing that I love so I thought, what a better time to share it while I'm deciding on what I want to present and record.

But hey! This post is not about me making excuses so let me get back to my main focus, however have you had the chance to check out my Open Mic.

If you have been wondering I have been good, I have been well. Back in January me and my immune system had a little argument which cause a cold sore (my second cold sore stressing-myself-related) and this occurred because I was thinking and overthinking .. working, being hard on myself. So my immune system decided to conversate and tell me I was being hard on myself and that's why I got that cold sore. Stressing myself, not time stress but putting myself under stress because I wasn't where I wanted to be. So, I want to take this chance to encourage everybody that no matter what stage of your dream, or on the road to your dream that you are at .. You will get there eventually, You can get there and You will get there! How hard are you willing to work for it though ?!

There are few things I have read these past few months which I will share with you.

First one, "Yes society brings oppression and sometimes that society is you who oppresses yourself." 

This little bit of knowledge literally means that yes society is responsible for oppression because they are the ones 

to build then destroy the ideal .. see it favors them one time and they be like 'ouu this look good for now' then they change their minds later and decide today we ain't feeling that ! 

So the rest of y'all who killed yourselves because you didn't meet the previous standard might have lived through the new standard or the new ideal that society may have going on. This leads into "A double-minded man is unstable, for his mind is everywhere ..". If you don't know who the freak you is, anybody and everybody will tell you who they think you are, so you need to know about yourself. You need to realize that no matter what anybody else tells you, no matter what you have told yourself about yourself in the past you are an amazing human being, you are an purposeful individual .. I'm not going to say unique (Pebble$ gon get ya !!).

It depends on how you perceive unique, if your unique is being this way today, being this person today and that person tomorrow dependent on what changes in society then you have not yet found your Uniché, yeah I'll make that a word. Who is supposed to be in Uniché .. YOU are supposed to be in Uniché. A niche is a place of comfort, a place where you excel it is where it doesn't matter what anybody says to you, you know you are the best and you tell them this is my Uniché !

You need to find your niche, your niche is your unique place .. your unique selling point like they say in business. What is so amazing about you that I want to invest time and space allowing you to speak your positivity into the room that I'm in, to speak your positivity into my mind. To allow the sound waves from your words and your mouth to get into my ears .. Are you really worth my time? If the answer is Yes I will continue listening if not there is an X button in the corner of the screen you can click that ish out !

So that is how we get to the point of Uniché, you have to be comfortable in the way you are and in this case you should be a single-minded man or woman. A man of one mind, one body, one spirit and soul. Everything should be in harmony everything should be in syncytium just like the heart, they are supposed to work as one. You are supposed to have a level of awareness and consciousness that allows you to be the best that you can be, to 

operate at the best level of YOU as the best version of you ..day in, day out !

When you find Uniché it's going to be very hard for anything or anyone to depress you because you know that who determines your happiness is you. So if you decide that today 'I'm not feeling so good but I will try', let it be because of YOU not because of somebody else telling you stuff or doing stuff.

Next one, "Anyone who does what they love will always look good doing what they are doing while 

doing what they are doing." I spoke to a homeboy of mine a few weeks back, I might have told him this or I wished I had remembered at that point in time to tell him that he needs to find what he loves doing then he will do what he loves. Only because it's hard enough not knowing how exactly you'll go about finding what you love doing, what you were created in this life to do then you have the pressure of parents on top of it. Sometimes or actually a few times you think, how are my parents gonna perceive me? what will they say? I got an older sibling who is doing this so how am I going to go about it? You just have to try and find a way to make sure you try to do something right while you're trying to tell them "Yo mom and pops, I really want to go this way but you know I tried my hand at this and I gave it my best and it's not working out or it worked out but this ain't where I find fulfillment". With that any wise parent would sit down sit back and think, where would my child best excel let me take in their suggestions or he's told me best on how I could help him out/ help her out.

You got to be real cerebral to get this one "Faithless men come as the opposition to your success, they do nothing less than destroy faith and fix fate." let me explain that to you. You want to succeed in life, right? I don't know any person who doesn't want to succeed and, the faithless man - is the 'friends' around you who say 

"Girl you can never do that", "Hey man, you really think you can do that .. do you know where you coming from" 

or "What's your basis though, you don't have no foundation where you going?". So you then have to tell yourself, 

there are people who have hit rock bottom, people who started with zero that own a lot; I am not them BUT they 

are examples of what hard work does, and what determination does when you want to succeed. If you want to succeed .. you will ! I have a lot of people who tell me " Yo Pebble$ it's easy to say that man, but in reality is it 

really like that? and I have to be honest, I don't know where your coming from because... I always tell you guys don't say you understand what somebody is going through unless you have been through it.

For example, 1- somebody comes to me to say I've lost a sibling who was supposed to be born but I never got to meet them, I can relate and I can understand because 'In The Moment Of Now' is dedicated to my little sister who I never got to meet.) 

2- If somebody told me about a miscarriage or something else my approach would be "No I cannot identify with you BUT I can comfort you because I haven't been through that".

3- Somebody says they have hit rock bottom before, I cannot truly say I have hit rock bottom, rock rock bottom. I have hit rock bottom to a level but everybody's rock bottom is different, some folks rock bottoms are softer than others. When you realize how they hit rock bottom and what your rock bottom looks like you will be like "Yup you stronger than me, we both hit rock bottom and much respect to our individual rock bottoms but it impacted us in different ways."

" You will not realize how hitting a rock bottom feels for some folks but you will come to understand that it impacts us in different ways, in different aspects of our lives, the ways that we think afterwards, the way that we relate and things like      that ! "

I hope you all enjoyed that, thank you for your support ! 

       - Pebble$ x

                                                                                  Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt

Motivation #1

                                                                                  Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt

#Life

                                                                                  Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt

King . Wife . Noble Character .

Listen, son! Listen son of my womb!

Listen, my son, answer to my prayers!

Do not spend your strength on women,

Or your vigor on those who ruin kings 

It is not for kings, it is not for kings to drink wine 

Nor for rulers to crave beer,

Lest they drink and forget what has been they decreed

And deprive all the oppressed of their rights.

Let beer be for those who are perishing,

Wine for those who are in anguish!

Let them drink and forget their poverty

And remember their misery no more.

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, 

For the rights of all who are destitute.

Speak up and judge fairly,

Defend the rights of the poor and needy. 

A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies 

Her husband has full confidence in her 

And lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm

All the days of her life

She works with eager hands. 

She is like the merchant ships, 

Bringing her food from afar.

She gets up while it is still night;

She provides food for her family 

And portions for her helpers  

She considers a field and buys it;

Out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She sets about her work vigorously;

Her arms are strong from her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable, 

And her lamp does not go out at night.

She opens her arms to the poor

And extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household,

For all of them are clothed in scarlet 

She makes covering for her bed,

She is clothed in fine linen and respect

Her husband is respected at the city gate,

Where he takes his seat amongst the wise.

She is clothed with strength and dignity 

She can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom, 

And faithful instruction is on her tongue 

She watches over the affairs of her household

And does not eat the bread of idleness 

Her children grow and called her blessed;

Her husband also, and he praises her:

" Many woman do noble things, but you surpass them all "

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting;

But a woman who stands for greater and fears the Lord 

Is to be praised 

Honor her for all that her hands have done. 

First have a relationship with yourself, have a desire to have the above qualities as a woman .. you need to 

stand out in this life no matter what you do. If you're going to do something, be the best that you 

can be at that thing .. those things. Be encouraged !!

.. Pebble$ ..

Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt

Happy New Year To Mee .. !

See! God always works things out He doesn't always explain himself but He sure does reveal Himself in every situation and all important steps on the way.

Check out this post by a fellow blogger who has become a big sister to me which explains why I said what I just said. 

Just check out the post through the link below:  

TuesdaysWithBianca's Post 

HAVE A BEAUTIFUL WEDNESDAY !!

      Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt

New Beginnings

" The biggest mistake is becoming part of what you hate."

 ... Damn that quote good! But I don't know who it's by, but for real hold onto this truth for a while the next time you have to hesitate before doing or thinking about something, OR you find yourself coming to an unnecessary compromise read this quote out loud and if your choice to follow what your heart doesn't follow comes up. Then it isn’t a good option, so don't follow. Just say to yourself, " Self this right here, I don't follow.”

PHASE II 

It’s a new year don’t be a stereotypical hypocritical. What could you possibly lose by following what yourself follows?? 

What’s the problem, a few folks who find safety in a norm that strips their shine, leave you? So you realize you have been good to someone only to realize they were just coping or tolerating your presence. If you just found that out, you were bound to find out sometime. This shouldn’t be news to you. You just need to wake up and be a servant to all, let them know “you wanna take a dump on my feelings and kindness “... GO AHEAD! I double dare you; I mean you do realize that tables turn, RIGHT! 

So you do to me today, Johnny tomorrow, Izakeisha the next day, Tutankhamen next week whoever else the next months, years, decades. When it comes for them, you will happily be in your own world of achievements and with people who truly deserve your time. 

A message for all in 2015 :

" IF YOU’RE STILL SLEEPING ON LIFE, ALL THE BETTER TO DREAM MORE DREAMS, IF YOU’RE NOT DREAMING NEW DREAMS, WAKE UP BECAUSE THE WORLD IS MOVING ON WITHOUT YOU. STOP SLEEPING & FIND A SPACE TO CONQUER ENOUGH OF THIS CHICKEN MENTALITY MAKING BIG DEALS OVER NOTHING ! YOU HAVE A BILLION DOLLAR SOLUTION FOR SOMEBODY IN THIS LIFE, START THINKING ABOUT WHAT IT IS YOU ARE IN THIS LIFE TO SOLVE !! I CAN’T BE THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESN’T WANT TO SLEEP ON YOUR TALENT, SOLUTION, ASSIGNMENT, PURPOSE OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT."

 Wake Up & Stop Underestimating Yourself !!

From Pebble$ with much heartfelt sincerity ..

    Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt