Monday, July 16, 2012


I am child
I have grown of age
I bear name of a man who ..
Never took time to show me, know me, nurture me, hold me
I talked of him greatly, but never got to know him
One who never showed up at my birth, my recitals, my games or my birthdays

I am daughter 
I am deeply scarred
I now believe he will never show
He is father, but of whom
I dreamed he would walk me down the aisle
Chase away my first boyfriend
Share a strong, father-daughter bond
There was no daddy .. to be a daddy’s girl to
Talk of friendships
We didn’t even have that
Talk of time set aside
I guess he was the busiest man in the world
I spoke to him once but don’t remember his voice
I was only five and that was the last time we spoke

I am son
It hurts me more that it would a daughter
That you didn’t deem yourself necessary
Talk of role models he was a role ghost
Seemed non existent
I needed you to teach me to ride my first bike
To guide me on my first shave
To watch my transition from boy to man
To give me pointers on how to be the best man I could be
Help me through my teenage years
But instead you were a no show
Left me nothing but feeling abandoned
When others talked of their fathers
I had nothing to say
I had no hero, so I relied on superman and batman
Your absence stripped me of pride and strength

I am grown folk
All I wanted was a father to look up to
A father to give me reassurance and protection
A father willing to lose games to see a smile on my face
A father to love me like the heavenly father loves his own
Not to be hurt by the fact I had a deadbeat dad
But having one who played a significant role
One who tried and strived to be the best he could be to support his family
That would have been your essence and purpose in my life

If you were present these would be the words
Your very words would uplift me
The stories you tell gave me hope
Your wisdom and presence meant the world
The way of truth you lead me in
A minor as your time seems is meant the world to me
The reassurance and confidence you gave me
Here I am testify
That the presence of a father is good 

                                                                                    Copyright © 2012 PebblesWroteIt

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