Pebble$ [Blogger] Love Apparatus

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                The original concept for this interview should be credited to Jesse Boykins III . The interviews he had with various ladies   intrigued me, so I decided to try putting myself in the position to ask myself the questions he asked, I hope you enjoy reading my responses.   If you feel like laughing you can watch the responses on my YouTube Channel.


Feel free to leave comments below, about points where you think you might have answered differently.


1: What Do You Love About Being A Woman?

I love the natural disruption you cause when you walk into a place, even if it’s for the slightest moment or a sustained stare. It positions you on top of a hierarchy almost instantly in the way that a man might not have, if 
he were to enter that environment instead of you. 

There is an element of being strong yet vulnerable at the same time in being a woman, I would not yet classify myself as a woman but rather as a lady in the sense that a lady still finds herself through understanding and coming to terms with the limits of her strength and the extent of her vulnerability. You grow closer to being secure about your insecurity through vulnerability in a way that makes a man understand you are no toy and equally as human if not more. 


The woman is distinguished from a girl by a simple line of RESPECT. Respect enough to know when and when not to in anything, enough to not play with emotions. A woman has a respect for self enough to step away from situations & decisions with unnecessary escalations. 


2: Long-Term Lust or Short-Term Love? Why?

Short-Term Love. Lust is momentary it works in intervals, it is what it is because you want it time and time again, it only comes in one capsule per pack if you want to gain satisfaction you’ll have to become an addict, a slave to it. Love on the other hand when genuine sustains you till the end of time, no refills needed and it doesn’t enslave it carries you along. Love gives as it is received whilst Lust works on a one way system it only takes from you consuming energy that could have easily been spent on working with Love.

Lust has never gotten man anywhere but in the position of wanting, while Love has made man ready to give as well as receive. Why would I want to be placed behind a smoke screen my whole life lusting after a man if the only thing I’ll be thinking about is the things I could do to him, Lust won’t get my bills paid, food on my table or guarantee my future. 


3: Do You Remember The First Time You Felt The Emotion Lust?

Yeah, when I was in high school. When I think about it now I think it was disguised as a crush/obsession I had for Omarion when 
he was part of B2K and when he starred in ‘You Got Served’.


4: Beauty or Danger? Explain.

Beauty. Beauty can be found in everything if only you open your mind, heart, ears and perspective on life and your world. Beauty never lies at the surface because if it did most of the scars of life would have bruised and erased that beauty away. Beauty has the ability to handle danger it turns the ugly of fear within danger, and stands firm when danger asks it to run. The beauty of danger is one which is around for a limited period of time till those who once feared it overcome the fear of facing it.  


5: Chaos or Structure? Why?


Structure. Chaos is not my friend, me and chaos don’t understand each other and don’t want to understand each other. I’d like to refer to the moments of chaos within my structure as “flexibility”. Flexibility is the time used to relax and break the norm, break the cycle of usual activity. It is the time used to bring me back to balance. Structure gives control in a way that chaos cannot, although 
in the moment of chaos it is the one in control while structure is helpless BUT structure brings us out of chaos no matter how gradual or slow that process is.  Structure has given me the confidence to plan, to dream, to achieve, to write and to say some of 
my best compositions as a lady, writer, poet, sister, friend and daughter.


6: Balance or Climax? Why?

I can’t choose. Only because you know you like the climax of a good day or great week, you like the feeling of achievements of things gone right. But you can’t deny the good of balance which prepares you for weighing the sides of your highs and lows; it 
allows you to be your true self. With that said I feel climax comes within the beauty of balance which permits you to enjoy the high 
of that moment in time, but teaches you to not stay in that moment because you can still do better, it grounds and earths where climax may disillusion. 


7: Do You Have A Paper Perfect? (*things you look for in a man)

Is there any lady that doesn’t? Well he better be rich, drive a Bentley Continental GT, own a big house and spend every second 
of his time with me. I’m done!! Did you think I was serious LOL!! Your homegirl Pebble$ ain’t like that, the real on what I need in my paper perfect is ..

I need a man that knows how to laugh and joke with me, he needs to feel fulfilled in what he does I don’t care what it is; he should do what he loves and love what he does (if he’s not happy with his situation, there’s a likelihood I might feel it too when he comes home in his behavior and attitudes & ain’t nobody got time for that). He should love me as he loves himself, motivated, purpose-driven, far-sighted (someone who looks to the future in things to achieve, taking himself from now to then, I couldn’t think of the word I was looking for). He has to have goals, dreams, visions, aspirations, know his destination (there is no way I’m following a 
man whose train has no destination).


I need a man who will not be intimidated by my accomplishments as a woman, a man who will support my dreams as I act as his backbone through accomplishing his. A man who will pray with me, respect me, care for me, love me for me, appreciate my 
fabulous and my #laybackchillathomeinaonepiece, as I do all the same for him.  You get all of that?!


8: When You Hear “Love Apparatus” What First Comes To Mind?

Instruments or some kind of tool in making love happen. I think of the use of the deeper things of human nature to bring forth 
the beauty of love, the things that must be leveled if two people want love to work. The tools needed in love – patience, understanding, common ground, mutual agreement, identifying and grasping perfect imperfections, finding another whole to 
make a greater masterpiece. It is the tool used in the expression of one’s self to the world, to those they love and to those yet 
to find love.

It’s like wood and sandpaper, the wood has already been cut to shape but the sandpaper needs to be used to perfect & smooth those sharper edges or carvings to bring the wood to the standard it should be at. The wood is the love (or the people) and the sandpaper is the apparatus (the things or people that bring the missing element) needed to bring that love through and allow it 
to grow.


9: Do You Like Smiling? Why?

Pass me a nice book or notepad and a pen, let me be in my zone and I'll give you the best smile I have. I feel like you have to free yourself from your thoughts to genuinely smile, even if it's just for a moment. To like smiling does that mean you liked frowning previously, I'm just saying but hey seriously though, laughter is more evident in my life than smiling. 


Every time I smile I'm accused of my smile flirting so I laugh instead. I like laughing, it is free meds for the stresses you store up inside both knowingly and unknowingly. Laughter is my therapy, I can't cry and break into a smile instead I cry and laugh it out or laugh at myself.

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Hope You Enjoyed Reading My Responses. Leave A Comment Below & Start A Conversation.

  Copyright © 2016 PebblesWroteIt

The Former & Latter

      I.....

      I have married off a child

      Even when I knew that it wasn't right

      I let go of my only daughter

      And let havoc wreak amongst the remainder

      Foolish was I to let go of this child

      Who now felt that the safest place she could be

      Was her mother's womb

      Have I reduced my wife to just a womb

      Now my daughter wants to run away

      I married off my daughter

      That she might be happy

      I mortgaged her happiness

      The former meaning to cause death and

      The latter meaning I imprisoned her

      I mortgaged her life

      The former meaning to hold her in one place

      The latter meaning I have sentenced her..

      To a term she cannot bail on

      I have taken away my daughter's freedom to

      Express, to love, to smile, to be

      The former meaning to alienate her

      The latter meaning to silence her

      I have found no peace when I caused her life disarray

      She must have prayed good

      That all her enemies receive the same turmoil, that her heart weeps

      For she did not sow the seed so why should she reap the punishment alone

      I have left my daughter alone even though

      Her status is engaged

      The former meaning to kill and

      The latter achieving that goal

      I have mortgaged my only daughter

I want to publish a book, it will be a collective  of my work from the start of my journey at 8 years old til Summer 2015. Hold me to it ! 

Copyright © 2016 PebblesWroteIt

I Understand Gramy..

This is a product of connecting my upbringing, the prayers of my grandmother & the events that happened in the days following independence day weekend July 5 - July 9. 

Importance of this piece..

Our grandmothers often represent a generation who really know the ups and downs of life, like REALLY know the ups and downs. They are women who have seen some of the most touching and devastating events which have shaped history and OUR history. For me the presence of a grandmother represents strength, love, nuturing and wisdom; she is the reason behind many family traditions, recipes and an example of success. She loves God and she breaks down the bigger complexities of life for your young mind to understand and value, many times her hustle makes your future possible. This piece centers around the role of grandmothers and the worth of their words, in this case the words within a grandmother's prayers over the years are fully understood for the first time. The basis on which these words are understood lie within heartbreaking events in our world where black men and women are losing their lives in an unjust manner. When looking deeper I realize that this wasn't only a prayer that I benefited from but many others have testified that their grandmothers prayed similar prayers which have kept them til today constantly striving to be the best men and women they can be in today's society and beyond. A grandmother's prayers AND her words must never be taken lightly, they hold a power that we cannot fully comprehend in our lifetimes.

Family is defined by its members, how they relate and what they mean to each other. It consists of several kinds of relationships, the highlight of this piece revolves around grandmothers and the various relationships that stem from their being.. their presence in a family. Grandmothers often hold family together when situations or circumstances can tear it apart. 

Holding onto the possibility that grandmothers keep family together, they pray and intercede for everybody. It may be the meekness of a grandmother's heart that causes constant protection from above, where He hears the plea of grandmothers and honors the call. We've got to do things for ourselves and stop placing our walk with God in the hands of our grandmothers, learn from your grandmother. Hunger for the lessons and wisdom that your grandmother has and greater. One day generations will also require you to do what your grandmothers have done for you. Are you equipped enough? Have you hungered for the presence of the Lord as much? Does God know the sound of your voice or the constant moans of needy prayers when you remember 'Oh there's somebody by the name of Jesus', "Please please rescue me Lord". You have to desire a walk with God that shakes the kingdom of the enemy, let him pee himself every single morning when you get out of bed; make the enemy run every time you enter into a place he thought he had control over. 

We need to hunger for this level of relating with God and the ability to hold people together when they are almost shattering, but if we can't be bothered to learn.. how can we fight and who are we fighting for? When you equip yourself you are able to help others, when you build the strength that you need you can fight for others. From today forth know that you are fighting for your own cause, a cause which directly impacts those that surround you, those living in your generation and those of generations unborn. You are fighting to sustain life where situations only present death, you are presenting a voice people didn't know could arise and represent them. You are also fighting for those who don't even see the need to fight, who don't get the purpose of the fight and those who will break down the structures that are in place to protect them, with their own hands. The fight might feel like it is fought in vain but your impact will transcend time periods after you have gone and left your legacy, your actions replace the regret of 'I wish I had done..' with 'I did it and I was alive to..'. Your fight brings light to the wrongdoing, the injustice, the silencing and the desensitizing of people's reactions to such disgusting acts that shouldn't even be found in the nature of mankind.

We are forgetting that our interactions daily despite what our journeys have led us to experience should be on an individual to individual basis. You are responsible for how you decide to treat those whose paths cross at a point with yours, you have a duty as a human being to hold your innermost convictions in one hand and have your "benefit of the doubt" fairy dust in the other hand ready to sprinkle into action before anything else. We are forgetting that we are all human beings birthed of our mothers who once held us with the utmost disbelief that their baby was alive and well, that they made it to the other side of child birth to carry their child in their hands. We also forget the families broken by loss, we forget that your blood and my blood are the same color even if our shells are not, we forget that before any authority or title you are first a human being and those things are mere additions to your status as fellow homosapien. We are losing out on collaborating with each other in our communities, in our jobs, our colleges, in the corporate world and in life over matters that we have no control over. This focus on irrelevant details is distracting us from the main aims and missions that we are supposed to reach and complete in life. You lose out on educating your world on the coming advancements and what you have to offer your world. You instead repeat history by having to deliver old classes to a new generation when those classes should be part of stories told to show how far we have come. Not how many centuries we have leaped back to. Wake up. Yes people will do wrong things but don't classify the whole people under that regressive label; try and understand the damage it causes.

Ways to move forward and ways to cope with such events in life ?

1. If you still have your grandmother around, talk with her. Question her and if you're too sure how to ask just say "Gramy, Pebble$ sent me." 😊

2. Look for ways to educate yourself daily, biweekly whatever time to can give, give it. Keep up with developments BUT know when to step away because the events of 2016 had us all feeling like we needed counselling.

3. Advocate for your peace when it all feels like a little too heavy to carry, and you'll be able to support others as they support you.

4. Always have somebody you can talk to or people you can talk to.

5. Pray. Prayer is not the whole solution but IT IS part of it, meditate. Meditate to shut out the noise of the world and communicate 

with God in your secret place.

6. If you have known the effects of spewed hate, you better be the last person sending it out towards others. 

7. It's alright not to have all the answers, but your hunger for some answers is sometimes all it takes. 

Know that your life is worth every breath you take and the inhale/exhale of your lung gives rhythm to hearts that needed breath when they said breath had died and gone. May you be the new start that arises with our coming lunar :)

I want to publish a book, it will be a collective  of my work from the start of my journey at 8 years old til Summer 2015. Hold me to it ! 

                                                                          Copyright © 2016 PebblesWroteIt