Tuesday, September 15, 2015

" Devil Take A Seat , Let Me Lecture You"

We feel pressurized by so many things in this life whether it's family, friends or ourselves. In January I.was.hard.on.myself because I wanted to ace my classes, I wanted to give my best; though I was so hard on myself mentally my body actually read that. These few months have been quite a journey and I have to thank God for getting me through and over my current and past situations. I took a journey I didn't think was possible, I had to finally tell myself "No matter what this takes I gotta do it and I did it !"

I have been on a journey which will still be instrumental to my life 
Even in years to come 
I've come to the end of it and need to find out how to achieve what I desire most right now.
Times will take you from ill health and back to homeostatic control
Largest allergy fight of your life left you with that adaptive immunity 
You'll never have the chance to attack me like that again
Does it help that people doubt me getting there 
Who told you I needed their two cents to fuel me into sadness
And at which point did I inform you of my concern with distractions

Many things will take you from a high to 'where did I lose full control' 
I just had this all scheduled out, post-it noted, I even timed them
What happened and at which point did I seem disorganized
Where did the urgency to achieve leave and take sidelines
In which way can I bring myself back because 
Those who love me will soon doubt that I tried at all 
I'll hurt myself thinking about this point for the rest of my life 
God you know my heart please help me out 
You made me, you placed me here 
It's your favor and grace that got me this place 
I admit my submission to the commissions of admissions 
From tasks that take me one step further 
I don't give my best as I wish but it's still good enough 
How can I thank you enough

I was frustrated, I didn't have a way out 
But you held my hand, you protected my heart 
When I nearly broke it, you saved me 
I lost self so you saved me from myself 
Will I ever get to the next stop
I don't want those behind to leave me behind
I .. I .. I ENCOURAGED them to run 
Situations can't stay this way
This devil needs to take a seat and hear me out 
He needs to know I'm not his puppet to some freak show
You don't mess with me then think I won't get up 

My future is not determined by the outline 
Of my current situation 
My drive was tears but I wiped my eyes and 
Passion seeped out, my pressed package burns
Good oil 
Give me time I will grow, five years does and doesn't seem too long 
You'll be hearing from my judge by the time I'm done
I'll school you in the tests of life
Let me lecture you on the ability to live within means
But provide beyond capacity
No temporary principles taught here 
Long term lessons given in fortitude 
To show how graciously it was understood that we 
Should never and will never stop here 

And by the way the judgement is already ruled in my favor, It's a win-win for me ! 

- Pebble$

         Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Cloudy .

Do actions become apparent .. before or after the deed is done ? - Pebble$

         Copyright © 2015 PebblesWroteIt